My name is Bianca and I’m the girl known as B.
Seven years ago my whole life changed, and not in a good way but in a horrible way. It felt like someone stabbed their hands inside me and took my soul.
Seven years ago is when I told myself that this world had nothing for me anymore, that my life was done; but something told me that I had to keep my head up and live through it, that everything was going to be okay. All I had to do was smile and be happy. That was the only way I fooled people into believing that nothing was wrong with me.
January 29th, 2011 was the day God took my auntie away from all her suffering and a week later my brother was thrown in prison.
What had I done to deserve something like that? It was a tough time for me. I didn’t eat, didn’t want to talk to anyone, I didn’t go to school for almost a month, and when I did I was distant from everyone. I was embarrassed and feeling so many emotions.
After a few months, I realized that I was glad that God took my auntie because she’s in a better place and she’s not suffering anymore, but one thing that I wasn’t glad about was my brother. He had the choice to do something right and he backed away from the whole situation! The only job he had was to be a brother and to be the greatest role model and he failed at that! I was angry at my brother for a while because I needed a brother to help me with homework and be there for me! All I had was a brother in prison who is now hoping he can get out soon.
Seven years ago I was this one shy, scared, hidden girl stuck in a box crying out for help.
Seven years ago people knew me as this girl who was always smiling and happy, but they didn’t know the person behind that happiness and smile.
I never spoke about where I am from or the struggles I had because I didn’t want anyone to feel pity for me or judge me.